“God is cruel. Sometimes he makes you live.” -Stephen King
If you steal and get away with it, you have very little (if any at all) of the conscious pain you feel when you are the victim of theft...
If you kill and get away with it, you don't often feel the pain of death throes...
If you cheat someone or beat them or lie to them and get away with it, you don't feel the pain they do.(Don't be fooled...it doesn't hurt them as much as it does you!)
But...have you ever noticed that breaking up is the only action that hurts the same whether you are the one acting or the target of the action?
Why does this need to be so? In a world where a breakup is almost inevitable (rare, sadly, are those who keep their promises enough times to make it worth your while to stick around...and even more rare those who can tell the truth and still keep your love and respect) it would make sense that at least one of those involved should escaped unscathed.
When a person loses a limb, or suffers severe enough pain, s/he often goes into shock or delirium, feeling nothing, in a world of his/her own...so where is the "state of shock" here? Why are we not blissfully oblivious, as we would be if we were experiencing massive blood loss?
Thanks to this fiasco...at present, I hate:
1. Paty's house
2. The smell of freshly mown grass (and cow dung...It smells like that at home, but I didn't expect it to smell of that here o.O)
3. The sound of Zack's voice (damn he sounds like JD)
4. Computers and all related things(even this blog)
5. The smell of cigarette smoke AND smoke from a campfire
6. Books about the Hmong culture
7. Hospitals (esp ICU)
8. Men with ratty goatees
9. The smell of Paty's laundry concoction
10. The thought of love...the "anti-relationshippers" have almost converted me...
Pull me through, I pray, without more scars, without more baggage, so I emerge wiser and better for the trip.
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As you express your own abyss...be kind. There is pain enough to go around already.